Letter.

On Friday, I checked the mail. Along with some birthday cards and wedding notes for me, there was a letter to my little sister. A letter to my little sister from Stephen.

Needless to say, I was a bit baffled and my heart rushed with emotion. Anger at my sister for writing him, surprise at seeing his name, and a little bit of sadness for missing him and wishing things were okay between us.

Minutes earlier, I had been in a jewelry store trying to find the exact earrings I want my bridesmaids to wear. I've been to a couple places and am not having any luck. I found some that are really simple wooden yellow balls, but there were only 4 and I need 7. I went to the front desk to ask the girl working if there was a way I could order more or something. She said she could call the warehouse and have them shipped in, but that she would need to get my information to contact me later. She got a pen and some paper and asked my name. I said "Summer Robinson" and she looked up at me kindof funny. She took down my number, and looked up again, studying my face, seeming as if she was trying to make a connection. I asked if something was wrong. Then she asked me if I knew Stephen Beck. Caught off guard, I felt my face turning red and I stumbled over all my words as I said something about dating him in high school. She told me she was his neighbor, she helped him pick out the ring he gave me in high school, and that she knew all about me. Flustered, I tried to change the subject and the idiot girl said something stupid like "It's too bad you are getting married while he's away on that mission trip thing. He really loved you." Okay, girl, thanks. I know.

So I was already a mess from that. Then, to check the mail and see his handwriting on an envelope addressed to my sister... I thought it was some sort of twisted dream. My mom told me to be calm and mature, but I was angry. I walked up to my sister's room and said "You've got mail" and handed her the letter. She took it from me, then realized what it was and her eyes sank. I waited a few minutes. She asked me why I was still there and I told her I was waiting for her to open the letter so that I could read it. She told me there was no way I was reading the letter. I asked her what the heck this was all about and she gave me some crap about how she wants to support missionaries. I shut her down by reminding her that she's never written any missionaries and that she isn't writing any others besides him. She said she could write him if she wanted. I asked her if she had any intentions of telling me that she was writing him and she told me that she had hoped I wouldn't find out. I then asked her if the fact that she was trying to keep it a secret was any indication that she shouldn't be doing it. She totally was searching for words and I just told her that if she cared about him half as much as she said she did, she would stop writing him. If she loved him, she would let him let go of me and that by writing him, she wasn't making it any easier.

I was so mad. My mom said I didn't need to react and that she had been writing him for awhile... which just made me more mad.

So much drama with Stephen and only 19 days until I marry someone who isn't him!

I hope he is doing okay. I hope he is well.
I'm keeping him in my prayers.